We Can Take the Long Way!!

It’s no secret that I adore the music of one Mr. Jason Mraz, and his latest album speaks to my soul in a way I never thought possible. He’s teamed up with a wonderful band called Raining Jane for this album, and the beats are wonderful, the melodies magical, and the lyrics are absolutely moving.

They just released the official music video for one song called Long Drive, and well, it’s kind of the love dream that I have for my life all laid out in beautiful shots set to Jason’s angelic voice.

I love to go for long drives, and when you get to do that with someone you love, well hell, there’s not much that’s better than that.  A good soundtrack, a full tank of gas, and someone next to you.  Oh, how I’d like that….forever.  And this video, well, it made me a little emotional, especially the end, and got me thinking, where’s my driving partner?

I hope he finds me soon, as there are so many roads I want to explore, and I’d rather not explore them alone.  And I hope he arrives soon, cuz I’m not getting any younger!

Ciao for now,

M

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Love Someone

Love. Such a strange and wonderful feeling, isn’t it? As Jason says in this song, “When you love someone, it comes back to you.” And it has me thinking about where I’m at in my journey. And of all the things I want, Love is silently, and subtly moving to the top of my list. It’s been so long since I’ve been loved, truly romantically loved. And I’ve been reminded so many times lately how, by those that I have loved in the past, while still in my sphere, no longer love me. Perhaps they never did. But even if they did, they all love other people now. Why do I yearn for those lost loves? Is it because they are worth longing for, or is it because I don’t have a new love to take me to a new, better place? A little of both, would be my guess. And then it hit me, even if one of these past loves wanted me right now, I’d screw it up. And the reason for that slapped me in the face hard tonight after a phone call to one of these past loves.

Why would they love me when I don’t love myself? Cuz I don’t. That’s hard to say out loud for me. Harder to type here for all the world to read. But this blog, this is the place I must be truly honest with myself. Otherwise, I will never find all the breadcrumbs necessary to find my happiness. And the truth is, I sooooooo don’t love me anymore. Did I ever?

A lot of that comes from the conditioning of my mother who always reminded me that I am not lovable by anyone but her. Other parts of it come from the slew of men in my life, both as a teenager and in present day, not to mention all the years in between where none of them wanted me romantically. They just wanted friendship. Perhaps it is because I’ve never truly loved myself. Why would anyone love someone who felt they were unlovable? Answer: they won’t.

In all the work I’m doing with the law of attraction, it’s so simple. If I believe I’m unlovable, no one will love me. I’ll continue to attract friendship only. And if the lyrics in this song are true, then perhaps the someone I need to love is myself.

It’s wonderful incentive to make some changes. I’m not sure how all those changes look at the moment, but when I find them, I know I’ll be that much closer to true happiness.

In the meantime, I’ll listen to the genius works of Mr. Mraz to help remind me that if you love someone, then it will come back to you. Cuz I want that great love that I’ve never had. But no use in it arriving if I’m not ready to receive it. So, time to take the steps necessary to get ready for it. Cuz, “When you love someone, your heart, beat beats so loud. When you love someone, your feet can’t feel the ground. Shining stars all seem to congregate around your face. When you love someone…it comes…back….to you.” And I am so ready for it to come back to me.

Ciao for Now,

M