Stronger…Whatever It Takes!

Nothing will make you realize how out of shape you are like a KMS Bag class.  It’s hard.  It’s so hard.  It pushes you physically, but more than that, it pushes you mentally.  I’ve got three classes under my belt now, and one thing has remained the same through each class for me:  I’m stronger than I think I am…and I’ll do whatever it takes to finish!

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And it’s funny, you know, the thoughts that go through my mind when I hit those moments during class where my muscles are burning, my breath is shallow, and I feel like I’m going to puke.  With that level of exhaustion you’d think I’d be thinking, “Stop!  Quit!  Enough!”  But I don’t.  Those thoughts don’t even enter my mind.  Instead, what I think is, “One more!  Don’t Quit!  No Pain!”

I actually hear Rocky’s trainer from Rocky IV, when Rocky is training in Russia, and he’s doing that insane exercise where he’s holding on to a table, with only his shoulders resting on the table, and he’s slowly and with epic control lowering his feet to the table in slow, methodical reps, and the trainer just says calmly, “No pain.”  He says over and over with intense control, “No pain.”  And that’s what I hear in my head when I’m struggling to do one more rep, to punch one more time, to throw one more kick!  All I can think is, “No pain!  Finish!”  How fitting that the soundtrack under that scene is called Hearts on Fire.  And that’s how I feel during class.  It’s hard!  Really hard!  And yet it’s the most amazing thing, because I’ll do whatever it takes to finish!

And you know why I think that?  Well, it’s twofold.  The first is because, and I can’t believe how much I truly had forgotten this fact, but I’m a tough bitch!  When I set my mind to something, I truly can do anything.  No matter how much it hurts, no matter how long it takes, no matter how much I sacrifice, I will achieve my goal!  But the second, and the most powerful piece for me is that it’s the culture at KMS.  They make me want to push harder, hit harder, finish as hard as I possibly can.  They make me want to make them proud as much as make myself proud.  It’s a place of positivity, of encouragement and of community.  And to finish a class and have everyone congratulating each other for killing it out there, well, that’s just something amazing to be a part of, and I’m so grateful for every class.

kms200The last two days I haven’t taken a class, because my work schedule doesn’t line up for me to take a class.  And I find myself missing it.  I’m looking forward to noon tomorrow when I get to go hit stuff again!  I find my self getting into fighting stance while waiting for the elevator, or standing in line at the grocery store.  It’s pretty awesome.  It’s only been a week, but I already feel like I’m a part of KMS.  And when I signed up, I’m the 200th member, which was such a cool thing for both me and the owners!  It’s a big milestone for them, and a huge moment for me.   Every experience I have in this place just shows me that I found the right place at the right time, because I feel so good when I get there and even better when I leave!  If you like to hit stuff, and want a good workout, and you live in Seattle, you really should come join me!  I dare ya!

Ciao for now,

M sm

Krav Maga…aka, Awesome Workout aaaaaaaand I Got to Hit Stuff!!!!!!

Ikms-logon following through with my plan to check out Krav Maga Seattle, aka KMS, I got up early, ate a healthy breakfast in plenty of time to let it digest before I headed down to the gym.  It was really easy to find, and there was plenty of free street parking.  I walked in, was instantly greeted by Ally, who helped me get set up for my free week trial (this is usually $20, but there’s a special going on right now where the trial week of unlimited classes is free!  Can ya say kismet??) and I took a seat and watched the final few minutes of Krav Maga 2 class, and holy friggin wow!  That class was no joke!  The amount of self defense, combat training, and technique going on amongst these amazing athletes blew my mind!  I decided to just watch the Krav Maga level 1 class today, but was planning on taking the KMS Bag class, which I’ll get to soon.

So, Krav Maga Level 1….yeah, not for the faint of heart!  The pre-workout, good gawd, I got sore just watching the class.  And after about 10 minutes or so, they all partnered up and started working on punches.  There was every kind of body type, fitness level, skill level, and intensity out there.  The first timers to the class were well instructed and people were so willing to help them do things correctly.  The veterans were friggin inspiring.  One chick in particular, she had dreads and a black bandana and she was a beast!  Her technique was impeccable, her focus was formidable and her intensity was inspirational!  They moved on from punches, to working on knee strikes.  They then worked on getting out of a hold if someone grabs you around the neck from the back and tries to choke you.  I just loved everything I saw, and can’t wait to take my first level 1 class.  Ally taught the class with help from a few other instructors, with the owners keeping watch and shouting out words of encouragement and inspiration throughout.  Everyone gave 110% in that class, and it was a powerful thing to watch!

An hour after that I checked in, grabbed a pair of boxing gloves from the loaner bin, and headed to the mat for my first KMS Bag class.  And Chau, one of the owners started us off.  We all grabbed a jump rope and jumped for 5 minutes.  That doesn’t seem like that long, but when you haven’t jumped rope since the 80s, yeah, it was so long!!  I instantly realized how out of shape I am, but I fought through the pain.  Fought through the burn.  And lasted the full 5 mins.  After that, we did some across the floor work, engaging our core, warming up the entire body.  I felt slow, and weak, but I pushed through.  Then, Ally took over the class and we strapped into our gloves and all grabbed a heavy bag.  And that’s when the magic happened for me!  Not only was my body already sweaty and exhausted, but it was invigorated and craving more!  And this is what I was craving!  I got to hit on the heavy bag!

Working in 2-3minute intervals on different punches, it felt so good to get back to working on a heavy bag.  My body instantly remembered the form I need for accurate, effective punches.  I heard my grandfather’s voice in my head telling me to center, engage my abs, use my hips, keep the punches at shoulder level, and exhale.  And I did.  And it felt great!  All was well until we had to drop down and do sit-ups, and that quick change of level send the first wave of nausea and dizziness.  Coming off of 65 days without sugar made it tough because my body was low on fuel!  My pace may have been a lot slower than the rest of the class, but ya know what, I didn’t quit!  I went at my pace, but I didn’t quit!

I got back up and pushed through.  More dizziness came.  More nausea.  The coaches checked on me, I slowed my pace, but I didn’t quit.  And somehow, at the end of class, I was able to complete a pyramid series of punches, roundhouse kicks, and splays and did so without puking all over the gym!  It hurt.  It burned.  My brain and muscles were screaming for me to stop.  But my heart was too far into it.  My soul was too hell bent on finishing.  I remembered that I have the word Forza, which means Strength in Italian, on my arm for a reason!  I am stronger than I’ve been lately.  I am one tough bitch when I want to be, and I was NOT going to give up!  And when I finished, not only was I so proud of myself, but all the coaches gave me high fives and congratulations!

For the first time, in a long time, I felt so welcome somewhere new.  It felt like I finally found a place I belong!  And even though my heart was pounding out of my chest, I was breathing harder than I have in a long time, and my entire body was shaking, I felt such elation, I can’t even tell you!

I am going to finish out the free week, cuz why not, but I can tell you right now, I’m already a member of KMS.  I am so stoked to workout at this place 5 days a week.  And the best part, it’s friggin walking distance from my office!  No excuses!  This was meant to be on so many levels.

I got to my car, checked in with my best friend so he would know I survived.  And then, I cried.  I cried a release of tears I didn’t know I needed to cry.  The release I got today from all the tension I have been carrying around for the past 6 years finally felt like it was letting go of me.  The weight I’ve been carrying felt lighter.  Yes, I’ve tried yoga.  Yes, I’ve tried diets.  But none of that gave me the endorphin rush, the fulfillment, and the sense of personal accomplishment that this KMS Bag class gave me today.  Some people run. Some people yoga.  Some people crossfit.  Me?  I like to hit stuff.  I like to spend an hour with a heavy bag. I like to learn to defend myself while getting fit.  I’ve found the place that is going to help me reach all my goals, both fitness wise and nutrition wise.  How’s that, you might ask?  Well, because they have a nutritionist there that I am going to work with to ensure I’m fueling and recovering properly for this level of pushing my body.

I more than found a breadcrumb today.  I found a lost piece of myself that I’d forgotten about, and was so ecstatic to find.

Ciao for now,

M sm

You Gotta Listen!

So, one of the things I do to keep myself grounded and healthy is to do Reiki.  I have a wonderful woman who performs Reiki on me, and I truly do love it.  (If you’d like her details, let me know).  Anyway, of all my sessions, one thing she says to me every time is, “Your spirit guides are always trying to guide you and give you hints, and you ignore them.  You need to listen to that voice inside you that is trying to guide you.  Yet, you discard things that show themselves to you every day, and if you’d stop doing that, and pay attention to those things, it would help you find what you’re looking for.”

And I believe that she’s right.  However, hard habits are tough to break.  So, that being said, I’ve been trying to listen to that little voice more, and pay attention to signs around me.  And holy crap, if it isn’t working!

The past two weeks have been tough for me on this crazy high protein diet I’ve been on.  I’ve had no interest in eating.  I haven’t felt well.  I’ve been moody and cranky.  I have had no energy, and have been battling myself with wanting to quit.  I’ve been arguing with myself because I saw the urge to quit as a weakness.  As my giving up on a tool that will help me lose weight and get to a healthier, slimmer me.  I didn’t want to quit yet another diet.  I wanted to finish what I started.

But no matter how often I argued, that little voice inside got louder and louder.  And it wasn’t saying ‘eat junk food’ or ‘you need to stop!’.  When I took a breath and listened, what it was saying is, “This isn’t the right path for you.  It got you started, which is great.  But it’s time for you to move!”  And that’s what I’ve been feeling.  I am really wanting to workout, and this diet plan doesn’t allow for that.  And while it’s an extreme fix for an immediate health concern, I really need a plan that allows me to move!  And I heard my body loud and clear on this yesterday.

I had to carry a bunch of stuff from one building to another at work yesterday, and by the end of the day my arms were so sore.  I’m not used to being that weak!  I’m not used to getting out of breath from a 10min walk, slightly uphill from my car to my office.  While I might be getting thinner, I’m definitely NOT getting fitter, and I’ve been feeling this way for a few weeks.

Now, on my social media newsfeeds, one thing kept popping up over and over again.  A link to  Krav Maga Seattle.  It’s been everywhere, and last night, I clicked on the link.  And something told me that this is where the next phase of my path to a better, healthier me is supposed to go!  Not only do they teach Krav Maga, which I’ve always wanted to try, but they offer heavy bag classes, HIIT training, and yoga!  It’s like one stop shopping for all the workout types I love.  And as many struggles as I’ve had lately, being able to smack the crap out of a heavy bag as many times a week as I need/want to, sounds awesome!

I spent last night soul searching.  Should I shift from Ideal Protein to Krav Maga?  Is this the right move for me?  I emailed my doctor, who of course wants me to stay on Ideal Protein.  is convinced that’s what I need to do.  And when I woke up this morning, this horoscope was waiting for me:

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My hope is that my doctor only has my health in mind, but that is one expensive diet plan, so that may be a motivator as well.  Either way, my gut is telling me it’s time to find a better solution.  One where I sweat!  one where I eat balanced meals for every meal.  One where I feel good every day and not bored, frustrated, weak, and lethargic!  I’m not abandoning my plan to get healthy.  I’m just changing my course of how to get there!

My first class is on Saturday. And I’m really excited to start this new journey.  I am going to listen to the that inner voice.  I’m not going to regret changing my mind or tactic!  If nothing else, this journey is teaching me to trust myself more.  That’s what my Reiki Guru is always telling me.  To trust myself more.  So, that’s what I’m going to do.

Breadcrumb definitely found!

Ciao for now,

M sm

Changes

So, I’ve been focusing on what I want, as per my last post, but just last week came up with a plan to finally put into action!  My health is a major concern.  Combine a 50 hour work week with diabetes and sprinkle on unhealthy snacking cuz there’s a Bartell’s five feet from my office and you get a very unhealthy M.  My latest labs scared me to death, and when I got home from the appointment, I looked at myself in the mirror and said to myself, “Self…you’re looking an awful lot like your mother.  Do you want your kidneys to fail, too?  Do you want to have to inject insulin into your body for the rest of your life?  Because last I checked, you did not have a daughter to give up her life to care for you when your immune system dissolves into a bag of dialysis fluid.  Wake the fuck up!”

And I did.  I spent a few weeks trying to get hard workouts in after work, and I did.  I also meal planned and ate well.  And yet, very few pounds dropped.  And I started the self-critical path towards bowls of pasta and bags of chips, and thank god for that image of turning into my mother, because I sat down to try to figure out why the hell my plan wasn’t working.  And it hit me.

Cuz I’m trying to fight against years of neglect of my health, while I was focused on my mother’s health, and I work in a demanding, exhausting job, and by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is work out.  It’s a chore, and I hate it, so I had to find another way.

A few years ago I did a high protein diet that worked for me.  I didn’t stick to it, because I didn’t have the best support system at home.  But it worked.  It worked wonders!  It balanced by blood sugar, gave me energy, and the food wasn’t bad.  So in doing research, I decided to go back to it, because on this diet, exercise isn’t a key factor until you shed the pounds.  And if I time it all out right, by the time the pounds are gone, I will have moved closer to work, and the energy suck that is my current commute will be gone, and I can use that time to tone myself up.

It’s going to work.  I can feel it.  I started a separate blog to track that journey, and feel free to check out Ideal Michele if you are so inclined.  This is the first time in my adult life where, rather than just giving up on the problem of my health, or ignoring it, I took stock and realized what my current lifestyle is like, and found a solution that works with it.  I’m pretty damn proud of me.

Crumb so unbelievably earned and found!

Ciao for now,

M