Growing up, I hated nature. Loathed it. Wanted nothing to do with it. Hated being outside. The sunshine made me angry. The heat made me cranky. I found no peace in anything outside. I now know, that was conditioning by my mother, because SHE hated nature and wanted nothing to do with it. So, there was no way she was going to encourage me to enjoy being outside.
Now that she’s gone, and my life is my own, I find myself craving to be surrounded by nature. The heat no longer bothers me like it did. The sun no longer irritates me. And trees, something about trees bring me a serenity I didn’t know could exist.
I’m working on my spiritual side as much as my physical and mental sides, and meditation has become so valuable to me. And I am finding, meditating when out in nature is so much easier and so much more effective than trying to do it in my apartment.
I came across this quote/photo, and it spoke to me. Finding the silence in the trees allows me to quiet my mind in an epic way. I forget the stresses and frustration that cloud my mind during the day, and just listen. LIsten to the heartbeat of the trees and the sounds of the birds and just, simply breathe.
I would never have been able to experience that in the tower that was my childhood home. Now that I’m free from the tower, I’m learning that nature is good. Nature is calming. Nature is what I never knew I always wanted.
Now, mind you, it’s intimidating. I haven’t ventured too far into it, as I’ve realized, if something went wrong, if I got hurt, if I got lost, I truly don’t have the survival skills to be completely one with nature. But I’m working towards that. I plan to do a lot of hiking over the summer, both with Sheldon and on my own. I will be reaching out to my nature loving friends for advice, for guidance, and to join me in my journey to exploring this side of living that I never cared about before.
I’m looking forward to learning more.
Ciao for Now,