Don’t forget about the joy!

So, I took a few days away from my life, and went on a mini vacation to Seattle to visit my best friends.  Friends, who in truth, are my family.  And we spent a glorious weekend indulging in all the things that bring us joy.  The best of those is the simple act of being together.  Things are just better when we’re together.  The past few years have brought me very few things to be joyful about.  However, there is one thing that brings me so much joy, it literally brings me to tears to think about it.  And his name is Mackenzie.  

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I mean, look at him.  He’s literally the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.  And he’s beautiful both inside and out.  His mere existence brings me so much joy, I can’t even put it into words.  His smile lights up a room, his spirit makes my soul sing.  He’s amazingly talented, and breathtakingly stunning, and I’m so blessed to call him family.  He’s the little brother I always wanted, and I’m so proud of him.  That bracelet is something I gave him years ago, and he always wears it, and it means so much to me.  He truly, is my joy.  He keeps me going, and makes things better for me.  I smile when he smiles.  And on the flip side, I hurt when he hurts.

Life hasn’t always blessed this beautiful boy, he’s had his challenges.  He’s just returned home after a time in New York City, and he’s regrouping back home in Seattle.  He’s focused, and he’s driven, and he’s hungry, but to know that not having New York embrace him with open arms from day one, and that fact brought him pain, also bring me pain.

I’m not a parent, but I wonder if this feeling I have is what parents feel for their children.  That hope that they succeed.  That need to fix the hurt.  That want to bring them happiness.  I feel that for Mackenzie, and have since the moment I laid eyes on him; which was strange for me, as we aren’t related in the slightest, and I didn’t meet him until he was almost grown.  But, there was something…something about him that I wanted to be a part of…something about him that i wanted to protect and nurture.  And lucky me, I got my wish.

Mackenzie has a wonderful mother, so that role is very well cast and very well performed.  I, however, get to be the big sister, and I love it.  I want this next chapter to be everything he needs it to be to take the next step in his career.  I want him to find his joy.  And I’ll do everything and anything I can to help him.

So, why add this to my blog that’s dedicated to me finding my way out of my own darkness?  Why write about someone else’s journey?  Because, what I realized in getting my arms around Mack for the first time in years is, while, yes, there is a lot I want to change, there are somethings that I did correctly.  Some things in my life so right, they don’t need me to do any work on it.  Some things already bring me joy, and I need to celebrate them.  So often I get bogged down in the crap that is awful and negative and painful.  I have a lot in my life to be happy about.  Mack is at the top of that list, and today, I take a moment to celebrate that joy!

FWY, Mack, Always!

Ciao for now,

M

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